The Divine Miss M

I’ve met my best friend only one time in person.

Miss M and I met on a message board for this workout program we were both doing. Her posts were always hilarious, and somehow we managed to exchange email addresses. I remember one of her very first emails contained this gem:

“Confucius say, go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.”

She had me at Confucius.

That was two years ago. Since then we’ve emailed each other multiple times each day, chronicling every detail of our day, from what we ate at every meal, to whether we had pooped that day or not. (Poop is one of our hot topics.)

I’ve never had too many close girlfriends. On the outside I may seem gregarious and outgoing, but on the inside, I feel pretty socially inept. Plus, I’m just plain lazy. Having a friend takes work, and usually I’m just not up for the task.

But M is different. I can tell her anything, and not be judged. She knows all of my deep dark secrets, and I know hers. She’s one of my strongest supporters, and makes me laugh more than anyone else in my life.

In the early stages, our husbands thought we were insane (or lesbians), to have created such a strong bond over the Internet. I think they probably still do, they just don’t bring it up much anymore. 

As I mentioned above, we’ve only met in person one time. We live about 6 hours apart, so one weekend we decided to meet in a small town that was about halfway between our respective cities. They met us at our motel (cause we’re classy like that), and then we went into town for lunch. Everyone was nervous initially, but a few drinks loosened everyone up, and we had a fantastic time.  These were good people, and if they lived in our city, we’d definitely be hanging out a lot.

Since that time, our relationship has solidified into one of total comfort and hilarity. We like to make up words, and have contests about how gay the other person is. (No offense to the gay/lesbian crowd, we love you. F*** Prop 8!!!) We haven’t gotten together in person again, because life just keeps getting in the way, but I know we will again very soon.

Because Miss M is going to have a baby girl any second now! I mean, she is RIPE. Her due date was yesterday, and she’s scheduled to be induced on Monday, if things don’t happen over the weekend. And seriously y’all? That baby needs to come OUT. Miss M was a tad moody before she was pregnant. But now, watch out. Plus, this woman carries a gun! Just to be safe, if you’re in the Nashville area, do not mess with ANY pregnant women this weekend. And please, for God’s sake, do not dare say, “You haven’t had that baby yet?” You may just get your brains blown out.

But seriously, I am so happy for her. This is her first baby. She has no clue what she’s in for. How it will be the hardest job she’s ever done in her whole life, but the best and most rewarding at the same time.

Colbie Caillat has the most wonderful song called Capri, and I think of M every time I hear it. Wish I knew how to add the song, but here are the lyrics:
She’s got a baby inside
And holds her belly tight
All through the night
Just so she knows
She’s sleeping so
Safely to keep
Her growing

And oh when she’ll open her eyes
There’ll be no surprise
That she’ll grow to be
So beautifully
Just like her mother
That’s carrying

Oh Capri
She’s beauty
Baby inside she’s loving
Oh Capri
She’s beauty
There is and angel growin’ peacefully
Oh Capri
Sweet baby

And things will be hard at times
But I’ve learned to try
Just listening
Patiently, oh Capri
Sweet baby

Oh Capri
She’s beauty
Baby inside she’s loving
Oh Capri
Your beauty
Just like your mother
That’s carrying

Good luck, my dear Miss M. You’re going to be a wonderful mother. I love you. And I can’t wait to meet Little Miss A.

(Oh, and by the way, you’re gay.)



  1. M
    Posted June 5, 2009 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

    First of all, you are the one who is gay. B, I am very flattered. And 3, I’m having contractions. Seriously, get this baby out of me!

    You are awesome!

  2. Posted June 5, 2009 at 5:49 pm | Permalink

    Congrats Ms. M! It’s incredible how the internet starts out as a window, morphs into a door, and becomes a hand into peoples’ lives. Amazing times we live in, to make these kinds of friendships and connections via wires and electricity.

    OH – And yeah, FUCK PROP 8! WTF, California, you totally let New Hampshire kick your ass! …I’m SO glad I live in a country where gay marriage is legal and recognized.

2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. […] by justmeandthevoices under Miss M No Comments  So, as soon as I published my last post about Miss M, she immediately started having contractions. Coincidence? I think not. It appears as if my writing […]

  2. […] the light at the end of the tunnel, my great reward, is that I get to visit my best friend this weekend. I’ll be driving to Nashville tomorrow, with my noble steed sweet dog at my […]

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