Training Montage

So, last night I did my first training session for the Fight for Air stair climb event. First, we did a little warm-up:

  • Started off jogging in the snow, climbing some hills and crossing some rivers.
  • Came across a man with a horse and cart who was stuck in the snow, so we helped get him back on the road.
  • Did some speed bag work.
  • Sawed some logs using a giant hand saw.
  • Loaded some big-ass rocks into a cart.
  • Pulled our snarky manager Paulie on a sled in the snow. (This was really hard because Paulie is kind of fat.)
  • Did some pull-ups.
  • Walked through DEEP snow with giant logs across our shoulders.
  • Did some shadow boxing.
  • Chopped down some trees with an axe, NOT a chainsaw.
  • Jumped some rope.
  • Did these God-awful ab exercises where we hang from our feet and perform sit-ups.
  • Split some wood.
  • Did these crazy leg lift things where only our heads and shoulders were touching the ground, as we lifted and lowered our legs really slowly.
  • Did some uppercuts while squatting under a rope.
  • More trudging through the deep snow, this time with a yoke on our shoulders.
  • Lifted a wooden cart filled with Paulie, our friend Adrienne and our trainer Duke. That was a bitch.
  • Finally, we ran out in the snow again, up this giant hill, with the KGB chasing us. Strange. The hill became a mountain, and when we reached the summit, we all shouted “DRAGO!” over and over.

It went something like this (the dark-haired guy, NOT the blonde giant):

Crazy how they have our exact warm-up on YouTube. Go figure.

So once we finished the warm-up, we went on to climb the six flights of our building ELEVEN times. That’s 66 flights, yo. But see, we got to rest each time we took the elevator back down to the first floor. In the real race, we won’t get any rest. Just 42 flights, straight up. We need to find some taller buildings to use for training.

So, we’ve got one month to get in shape to kick that building’s ass. Won’t you help motivate me by donating? Click here or on the logo below. Don’t forget that I’ll wear a tutu during the race if I raise $500!! All proceeds go to the American Lung Association.

Thanks y’all!



  1. Mel
    Posted February 3, 2010 at 4:36 pm | Permalink

    You’re an idiot! In a GOOD way! I trust the tutu you’ll be wearing will be borrowed from Chloe?

    • justmeandthevoices
      Posted February 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

      Ummm NO, asshat. Chloe’s waist is much smaller than mine! Wait, she doesn’t even HAVE a waist, she’s a dog!! I’m having it custom made, which shouldn’t surprise you one bit.

  2. Posted February 3, 2010 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

    And are you also training in Russia? Because that would be just way too much of a coincedence.

    • justmeandthevoices
      Posted February 4, 2010 at 10:00 am | Permalink

      I’m afraid that’s classified information.

  3. Posted February 8, 2010 at 11:17 pm | Permalink

    that’s amazing. And I wonder how I’d do in that climb. Sometimes I feel like all I do is run up and down the stairs. But they’re short flights and there are only two of them…so I wouldn’t be overly confident.

    Good luck!

    • justmeandthevoices
      Posted February 9, 2010 at 10:24 am | Permalink

      Oh you’d do great! It’s really not as hard as it sounds. I think it’s only going to take about 20 minutes. Thanks!!!

  4. ElectraWoman
    Posted February 20, 2010 at 2:21 am | Permalink

    I had to leave the room to laugh and catch my breath three different times before I could finish reading this post (can’t wake the “baby”). All you’re missing is a small, gymnastically-trained blonde girl doing a center-split leap at the end. And painfully slow jazz cross-points with diagonal extensions. For dramatic effect. Oh – and a judge from Broken Arrow who hates us and is trying to rob us of the state championship that is rightfully ours. I have goosebumps.

    • justmeandthevoices
      Posted February 20, 2010 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

      HA!! I love it!! You have a better memory than me. I’d forgotten about the BA judge!

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